By: Dani Sorenson | Blunovus
Building, maintaining, and ending relationships of all kinds can be difficult, but you can use these experiences to build your own resilience. As you move through relationships—or in and out of relationships—you can practice being authentic and putting your time and energy into what matters to you. Doing so helps you grow and become more resilient as you move forward.
Resilience is the ability to overcome and work through life’s tough times without being sent into a destructive tailspin. Luckily, resilience is something we can actively work on building, even though it takes time and practice. Below are some tips to cultivate this ability through your relationships with others and yourself.
Don’t waste time arguing over small things
This is especially applicable to things that you won’t remember. If it’s not something you will be deeply affected by in a month, a week, a day, or especially an hour, it’s not worth stressing over. I know it’s cliche, but don’t sweat the small stuff.
Additionally, it’s not worth stressing over what you can’t control. We are all faced with difficulties, tragedies, and challenges. Oftentimes, these events are completely out of our control and catch us off guard. During these times we can practice being present, which builds resiliency and helps us assess the situation with a centered outlook.
Use calming techniques when you’re frustrated or upset
Instead of reacting immediately to something that frustrates you, find ways to manage your emotions before taking impulsive actions. Reacting impulsively to triggers can cause you to blow up. Instead, try a self-care technique that soothes you and slows your heart rate down. It can be easy to overthink upsetting situations, but reacting with a clear, level head builds resilience.
Letting your emotions simmer down helps you come back to reality. Take deep breaths or walk away from the situation and revisit the issue at a better time. Surprise! It might not be as big of an issue as you first perceived. Talk with the person who upset you once you have calmed down and can communicate productively.
Be open with each other
Communicate your feelings and listen to theirs. You won’t always see eye-to-eye and that is okay. Understanding why someone has the perspective they do and making space for them builds resilience in times of disagreement.
Know your worth
Don’t settle for a relationship that makes you feel less than what you are, and remember that overthinking little things can detract from your feelings of self-worth and confidence.
Resilience means not letting someone get under your skin when they may be projecting their insecurities onto you. Stay true to yourself & know your value even when someone else tries to bring you down. Show yourself the love you deserve and you will attract that same love from others.
Don’t play the blame game
Self-blame and blaming others just holds you back from the good things in your life. Remember, it’s not about winning or losing. Avoid getting defensive when something doesn’t go your way and instead try to work together. Keep in mind, you’re trying to make this relationship work. Resilience can be strengthened when you take accountability for your mistakes and forgive others when they do the same.
Avoid toxic people
It’s OK that not all relationships work out. If you notice a toxic relationship in your life, it’s probably best to go your separate ways. Staying strong and standing your ground when a relationship takes a turn for the worse makes you more resilient going forward. Continuing relationships with toxic people doesn’t do you, or them, any good.
Show generosity and gratitude
Resiliency can be built through appreciating those around you and the good they bring to your life. Put your focus on what you can give, rather than what you can get. Seeing the positives in your life can help leave you unbothered when a negative circumstance arises, and looking at life through a more grateful and accepting lens inspires resilience in the midst of turbulent times.
Relationships of all kinds provide us with opportunities to build resilience. So next time you're faced with hardship in the midst of a relationship, think about how you can use the situation to grow and develop as an individual. Use the circumstance to level up and become a better and more authentic version of you. Approaching relationships and challenges in this way will help you continue becoming a stronger person now and into the future.
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Disclaimer: Blunovus content is not therapy and is not designed to diagnose or treat any condition you may be experiencing. Please contact a medical or mental health professional for treatment that is specific to your needs.